only after you lose everything are you free to do anything

"Only after you lose everything are you free to do anything"

I've never been a spontaneous person. I'm not the type of person to pack up everything and go on a life changing adventure while leaving every day life behind. I over analyze everything. I "what if" and think of everything that could go wrong in every situation before doing it.
All of that stopped when I decided to go on Semester at Sea. Everything that people had said that drove me crazy when Josh died like "everything happens for a reason" still makes me question some people's outlook on life. Yet, here I am. Struggling to get everything together to be able to leave in 10 days. I don't believe that his death was for any particular reason...I don't believe God is that cruel. What I do believe is that Josh came into my life to teach me many things. One being I am truely free to do anything...
I moved back home when Josh died because of not being able to work. Finding out my parents were planning on moving to Florida sometime in the beginning of the year threw me for a loop. Instead of agreeing to go with them or making any set decisions when I found out about Semester at Sea I immediately felt like that was going to be my home for 4 months. I'll figure out what I'll do next while I'm there.
This is only the beginning...I might not change as much as I want or maybe I'll change more than I expect. All I know is that Josh is watching over me and wants me to experience everything I would never have let myself do before.
Someone said something that put everything in complete perspective for me...
This giant universe that used to make me scared..now you're a part of it. Now I can't help but think you're a part of everything new and shiny. You were the brave one willing to go before us all to let us know everything was going to be okay. I love you for that J.
<3

I'm ready to travel the world. I'm ready to let go.
So it goes..

Itinerary

I will be leaving for the Bahamas to go on Semester at Sea in 30 days!

This is my tentative itinerary.

*January 10th-10:48 a.m. leave for Bahamas
Check in at the Wyndham with other SASers
& Spend the day at the beach
Jan 11th-Beach!
Jan 12th-Depart at 11:40 p.m. on the MV Explorer

*Roseau, Dominica January 16th-beach
house party that night
January 17th-SAS trip=Emerald pool & Trafalgar Falls

*Macapa, Brazil Amazon Entrance January 20th
*Maneus, Brazil January 23rd-27th
Sunday 23rd-Beach
Monday 24th-Explore
Tuesday 25th- ?
Wednesday 26th-MNS32 SAS Psyc trip- Service for children with caner and going to the zoo with them
Thursday 27th- ?
*Macapa Brazil Amazon Exit Jan 29th

*Takoradi, Ghana Feb 6-10th
Sunday 6th-Beach
Monday 7th-Psyc Village Project
Tuesday 8th-Psyc Village Project
Wednesday 9th-Explore
Thursday 10th- ?

*Cape Town, South Afruca Feb 17-22
Thur 17th-Beach
Friday 18th-Explore
Sat 19th-go to Cape Peninsula, Cape Point, Boulder Beach on own
Sun 20th-SAS trip Aquilla Game Reserve
Mon 21st-SAS trip-Animal Whisper Cheetah
Tues 22nd- ?

*Mauritius, Port Louis Feb 27th- beach
Catamaran
Lion Walk?

*Chennai, India March 6-11
Sunday 6th-Leave for Agra, India to see the Taj Mahal!!
Monday 7th
Tuesday 8th
Wednesday 9th
Thursday 10th-Return from Agra
Friday 11th-Che29 Sociology trip SAS
beach, explore Chennai

*Singapore March 16th- Beach, explore, shop, churches

*Ho Vhi Minh City, Vietman March 19-24
Sat 19th-Beach
Sun 20th-Explore
Mon 21st-Shop?
Tues 22nd-?
Wed 23rd-?
Thur 24th-?

*Hong Kong/Shanghai China March 26-April 1st
Sat 26th-HKG09 FDP Sociology Minority Service
Sun 27th-Explore
Mon 28th- Beach
Tues 29th- Great Wall- on own??
Wed 30th- The Peak Tram- on own
Thur 31st-Explore
Friday 1st-Shanghai Art Museum FDP

*Kobe/Yokohama Japan April 4-8
Mon 4th-Explore
Tues 5th-Nara Art FDP
Wed 6th-Beach
Thur 7th-Explore
Fri 8th-Mt Fuji- with SAS or on own??

*Hilo, Hawaii April 17th-18th beach!

*San Diego California April 24th
Visit Holly in LA?
*Leave to go to Seattle to visit Kim
Then head home to ATL & get ready for my best friend, Evie's wedding on May 7th